Category Archives: Positive thinking for cynics.

Craters and crocks.

Living for the moment still seems to be a far better alternative to drawing up a road map.

There is no plan. There’s no method to the madness.

You do what you want because you feel that it’s right.

You do what you want because you feel that you want to.

You do what you want because you feel that you can.

We don’t get many chances to be swept up in whatever moments we find ourselves in.

Maybe it’s time we changed all that.

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Filed under Positive thinking for cynics., Quarter life crisis, Self destruction, Stereotypically cryptic blog posts

When the hang-ups are hung up, you’re still left hanging.

For some time or other for these last two weeks, I’ve been wishing for something to spontaneously combust during my day.

I’ve been starting to feel the pull of monotony taking over. What was once drudgery has now evolved into a different kind of beast; a beast where aloofness is the norm, and where the chances of becoming wayward are as slim as a eunuch being tadpole-armed.

I don’t expect excitement to be procured over the course of the immediate future. It’d just be brilliant if I could pull myself out of the hole that I’ve dug. The bright side of all this is that the aforementioned hole is starting to become more shallow by a will of its own.

There’s got to be more than this.

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Filed under Musings, Positive thinking for cynics., Quarter life crisis, Self destruction, The future

Fix it.

Having a game plan terrifies me, most probably because of the effort required to draw one up. I’d sooner just throw something into the wind, wing it from there, and see where it takes me. I suppose it’s this particular approach to things that’ve gotten me into this hole in the first place.

To be fair, it’s not really a ‘hole’ as much as it is a giant Sasquatch footprint; something that doesn’t really exist, yet you can’t totally disprove. I do have a problem; I can easily choose to happily ignore it, but there’s the risk of it always being there.

But, as usual, I digress.

I’ve drawn up a strange schematic that might actually resemble a game plan, and it terrifies me. Being called into action is one thing; after all, you can’t run away from conscription (unless you exile yourself to Canada). But willingly submitting to something as proper as a plan only makes things harder for you — you do so many things with the risk of them not being appreciated.

But apart from being a morose motherfucker, I also pride myself on being incredibly stubborn once I set my mind to something. I can only call it a quality I possess that makes me all the more redeeming.

Of course, whereas some people might consider not taking any advice to be a sign of a higher degree of self-value than anything else, I consider not taking any advice to be a sign that you can stay straight and true to whatever silly objective you had in the first place.

After all, we won’t always get what our hearts desire. But we can surely, surely fucking try.

With that said, I’m about to embark on a relatively strange and alien trip to the center of my head. And I hope that this incredibly cliched passage of self-discovery ends with me being a happier person.

I’m just like Jerry; I know what completes me.

The path to getting it is the bitch.

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Filed under Positive thinking for cynics., Self destruction, Self-consciousness, Stereotypically cryptic blog posts, The future

No matter how bohemian being a vagabond sounds, it doesn’t get you paid.

Sometimes I wonder if incompetence runs through my blood. My ineptitude will be my biggest downfall; I attribute it to nerves. Or, to be precise, the lack of them.

It’s troubling when we see how motivated we are in the beginning, only to cut back on progress and then bring everything to a grinding halt once we’re either complacent or bored (or at most times, a mix of both).

Success spoils us. There’s a possibility that it softens us to an extent whereby we simply cannot face failure without being able to pick ourselves up again. Undoubtedly, a lot of work and effort would’ve been put into being successful, but there’s an incredibly short way to go between being the king of a mountain and being a king of a mountain of beans.

And let’s be honest; success can only be reached if we can overcome the perennial short attention span and obligatory threshold for punishment.

Things taste sweeter when they come easy, no?

Yes.

Sadly, I’ve been drifting further into the camp of believing that hard work and effort takes us places, while being inundated with invitations to direct marketing plans telling me otherwise. However, I can see that the latter would probably involve just as much initiative as the former…which I’m unable to provide. Or it could be a biting unwillingness.

I also don’t wish to impart any more pain upon my parents, because I’d like to have them go away in peace without me having to go to their graves (or in my Chinky case, their urns), wishing them to come back to life to spot me a dinner.

There is no subliminal message here; there’s no epiphany to speak of. There’s no new dawning realization of something that I didn’t already know. There’s no striking of Nirvana.

In a little under a week (depending on…you guessed it, the probability of success), I will possibly be struck free from the only bonds that I have ever been willing to become tied down to, towards a path of either corporate slavery, a lifelong commitment to the less-than-debonair civil service or simply biding my time on a beach, making money off selling bait and tackle.

And My Lord, despite how incredibly inviting, serene and surreal that last one sounded, I know that it won’t lead me anywhere. After all, I didn’t (over)spend six years on a business degree to help you fish.

Or did I?

I was never given a raw deal. But I’m about to give you one.

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Filed under Positive thinking for cynics., Self-consciousness, The future

Bummed and not exactly loving it.

Yes.

I woke up grumpy.

I’m still grumpy now.

I can see cascades of joy overshooting their mark.

The bastards.

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Filed under Positive thinking for cynics.

Leverage.

It’s been said to me today: I’m a lousy poker player because I can never hold on to all my chips. There’s nothing like the drama of going all in and making it known to the world…or at least, the perceived tension and drama that goes on in my head while doing so. The thrill of the plunge. The desire to know what the others are holding.

I’m proud to be part of the pack of idiots who have no clear understanding of the game, other than that patience, planning, foresight and a good dose of common sense are vital to winning a good round. But realizing these things doesn’t mean that we have to play with them in mind. Skirting on playing with plain irrationality might not be the smartest thing to do, but it’d be good, as Tyler would say, to let the chips fall where they may.

To thrift off from a song I know, chance is a kind of religion where you’re damned for plain hard luck.

No truer words, no?

Dive deep. And pray you don’t drown.

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Filed under Dreams, Gloom is boom, Musings, Positive thinking for cynics., Stereotypically cryptic blog posts

Leverage.

It’s been said to me today: I’m a lousy poker player because I can never hold on to all my chips. There’s nothing like the drama of going all in and making it known to the world…or at least, the perceived tension and drama that goes on in my head while doing so. The thrill of the plunge. The desire to know what the others are holding.

I’m proud to be part of the pack of idiots who have no clear understanding of the game, other than that patience, planning, foresight and a good dose of common sense are vital to winning a good round. But realizing these things doesn’t mean that we have to play with them in mind. Skirting on playing with plain irrationality might not be the smartest thing to do, but it’d be good, as Tyler would say, to let the chips fall where they may.

To thrift off from a song I know, chance is a kind of religion where you’re damned for plain hard luck.

No truer words, no?

Dive deep. And pray you don’t drown.

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Filed under Dreams, Gloom is boom, Musings, Positive thinking for cynics., Stereotypically cryptic blog posts